WOW, this city is AMA-zing; beautiful, friendly people, clean streets, canals, food, night life, culture, culture and more culture.
Vrydag coudn't come faster...
I left work early on the Friday which seemed to be everyone else's idea at the start of the bank holiday weekend, sadly our last until August and headed to the tube to catch the Picadilly line to Heathrow. After checking in my bag, waiting for the boarding time, I finally headed to the gate to see the world's smallest KLM plane at Heathrow, a Fokker 50 with I think twin props aka I can see the propellers. After making our way down the runway and taking off we were up in the air and flying over Lundun town and 45 minutes later we were landing at Amsterdam Schipol airport.

I had come for a birthday weekend where 15 of us were all going to Amsterdam to a) see the beautiful city and b) enjoy our friend's birthday on Sunday night. I finally found the girls in arrivals and we waited for the rest of our crew and then all headed to the train that took us to the city central. Transport was nice and easy and since everyone speaks superb English, language was nice and easy. After some brilliant entertainment by the ticketmaster on the train we finally caught a tram from Centraal Station to Leidseplein aka where our hostel was.

Well, as soon as we got out of the tram, we were once again greeted to so many foreign sounds and people bustling all over the square where we stopped. We headed to the hostel, put our bags down and went out to a bar/club/pub/restaurant and had some supper and chilled. After getting back at 3am we crashed to wake up for Saturday's New Amsterdam walking tour.

I need a pair of takkies
Walking in Puma's for 4 hours is not ideal is all I'm saying. From that you may guess that we literally walked Amsterdam centre flat from the red light district, The Dam Square, beautiful cathedrals, churches, canals, Anne Frank Huis, Jewish Quarter, Hash Museums, museums, The Dampkring (where Ocean's 12 was filmed), Coffee shops, Dutch East India Company and so on. I took lots of pictures to remember this day but it was awesome. I had my token clog picture of me in it and bought lots of gifts for family on our way back to get ready for the night. Wow, sentence structure a bit weird. Anyhooooooo

Red Light District
Wowawee... total eye opener in every sense of the word. The day red light district vs. the night red light district are two VERY different places. The night is packed, like Leicester Square packed where you can't move. People are drinking, smoking, smoking and generally looking at the women in the doors, windows and or buying tickets to a live sex show. It's insane is probably the best way to describe it. After our group of now 15 people got broken up, we all somehow managed to book for the same small, intimate live sex show and all I can say is with my eyes wide open; 'Whoa!' It was an experience but just watching how clinical and emotionaless the whole act is, is kind of sad. It loses it's whole appeal to watch these people cater for this emotionaless show and for people who are looking for the 'red light district' Amsterdam experience. Even though we all sat with our mouths WIDE open in awe of how we could see everything in a theatre the size of probably the MD's office, it was as I said WHOA!

Are we in Cape Town?
I kid you not. All we needed was the beach and ocean and I swear we could have been at home on a summer's day. It was like 27 degrees, boiling hot and no wind so we all decided to have a birthday picnic at Vondel park where it became Clifton beach and you were literally sitting on top of the person. It was a chilled day where after that we ate amazing poffertjies (fritters), went on a beautiful canal boat tour and walked around. It truly was an awesome day. At night we all went to celebrate the friend's birthday at Bazaar, a tapas styled restaurant where the food was amazing. We headed back to Leidseplein and walked around the bustling square again.

Nooooo
I don't think many of wanted to leave and after having a late morning, we headed to Anne Frank huis where we all pretty much had a very humbling experience. As a jew, it is something I had to do and well we all had to do and to know that I was in the same attic and walking and standing where she and her family was, really does bring you back down to earth really quickly. The bookcase, the height lines and hearing the church bell ringing from across the road was a very surreal experience!

After the tour, we headed back to do some shopping and walking around the centre on our way back to the hostel. We all had planes to catch and slowly we started heading back via a few stops for some fabulous food, food and more food.
What to do in Amsterdam should you go:
Vrydag coudn't come faster...
I left work early on the Friday which seemed to be everyone else's idea at the start of the bank holiday weekend, sadly our last until August and headed to the tube to catch the Picadilly line to Heathrow. After checking in my bag, waiting for the boarding time, I finally headed to the gate to see the world's smallest KLM plane at Heathrow, a Fokker 50 with I think twin props aka I can see the propellers. After making our way down the runway and taking off we were up in the air and flying over Lundun town and 45 minutes later we were landing at Amsterdam Schipol airport.
I had come for a birthday weekend where 15 of us were all going to Amsterdam to a) see the beautiful city and b) enjoy our friend's birthday on Sunday night. I finally found the girls in arrivals and we waited for the rest of our crew and then all headed to the train that took us to the city central. Transport was nice and easy and since everyone speaks superb English, language was nice and easy. After some brilliant entertainment by the ticketmaster on the train we finally caught a tram from Centraal Station to Leidseplein aka where our hostel was.
Well, as soon as we got out of the tram, we were once again greeted to so many foreign sounds and people bustling all over the square where we stopped. We headed to the hostel, put our bags down and went out to a bar/club/pub/restaurant and had some supper and chilled. After getting back at 3am we crashed to wake up for Saturday's New Amsterdam walking tour.
I need a pair of takkies
Walking in Puma's for 4 hours is not ideal is all I'm saying. From that you may guess that we literally walked Amsterdam centre flat from the red light district, The Dam Square, beautiful cathedrals, churches, canals, Anne Frank Huis, Jewish Quarter, Hash Museums, museums, The Dampkring (where Ocean's 12 was filmed), Coffee shops, Dutch East India Company and so on. I took lots of pictures to remember this day but it was awesome. I had my token clog picture of me in it and bought lots of gifts for family on our way back to get ready for the night. Wow, sentence structure a bit weird. Anyhooooooo
Red Light District
Wowawee... total eye opener in every sense of the word. The day red light district vs. the night red light district are two VERY different places. The night is packed, like Leicester Square packed where you can't move. People are drinking, smoking, smoking and generally looking at the women in the doors, windows and or buying tickets to a live sex show. It's insane is probably the best way to describe it. After our group of now 15 people got broken up, we all somehow managed to book for the same small, intimate live sex show and all I can say is with my eyes wide open; 'Whoa!' It was an experience but just watching how clinical and emotionaless the whole act is, is kind of sad. It loses it's whole appeal to watch these people cater for this emotionaless show and for people who are looking for the 'red light district' Amsterdam experience. Even though we all sat with our mouths WIDE open in awe of how we could see everything in a theatre the size of probably the MD's office, it was as I said WHOA!
Are we in Cape Town?
I kid you not. All we needed was the beach and ocean and I swear we could have been at home on a summer's day. It was like 27 degrees, boiling hot and no wind so we all decided to have a birthday picnic at Vondel park where it became Clifton beach and you were literally sitting on top of the person. It was a chilled day where after that we ate amazing poffertjies (fritters), went on a beautiful canal boat tour and walked around. It truly was an awesome day. At night we all went to celebrate the friend's birthday at Bazaar, a tapas styled restaurant where the food was amazing. We headed back to Leidseplein and walked around the bustling square again.
Nooooo
I don't think many of wanted to leave and after having a late morning, we headed to Anne Frank huis where we all pretty much had a very humbling experience. As a jew, it is something I had to do and well we all had to do and to know that I was in the same attic and walking and standing where she and her family was, really does bring you back down to earth really quickly. The bookcase, the height lines and hearing the church bell ringing from across the road was a very surreal experience!
After the tour, we headed back to do some shopping and walking around the centre on our way back to the hostel. We all had planes to catch and slowly we started heading back via a few stops for some fabulous food, food and more food.
What to do in Amsterdam should you go:
- Go eat poffertjies in Leidseplein (by the canal)
- Canal boat tour
- Free Walking tour
- Anne Frank huis
- Vondel park
- The Dampkring
- Amnesia
- Dam Square
- Flower market
- Hire a bike from Mac bikes
- Sit in a clog
- And of course... The Red Light District
On Monday 18 May 2009 my best friend had a baby girl on our other best friends' birthday. I had to start my blog with that cause I've been on cloud 9 since Monday and continue to wear the biggest smile in the world all day long, probably irritating my co-workers. Seriously, I've known the new mom since Grade 7 and the our other best friend I've known since we were 3 years old running around Vered pre-school in Camps Bay, playing on the Fire Engine at the Camps Bay park and most probably breaking something in her household or just making a noise. Honestly, I don't think my friend could have planned it better and all I can say is that the 4 of us god-moms are beyond ecstatic and cannot wait to meet the little nunu!
Chelsea Flower Show

I am lucky enough to have attended the RHS Chelsea Flower Show today after work as my job for the past 3 weeks has been - with my boss - creating and maintaining a website for one of the gardens on show at the flower show.

We created The Key Garden which is funded by the Homes and Communities Agency (through our Places of Change programme). To make it more exciting is that the garden won Silver and is a favourite for the people's choice award. Interesting fact about the garden is that it was created by Paul Stone and with creative input from previous homeless service users.

South Africa won Gold at the RHS Flower show!!! Took some pics below



Amsterdamage
I'm on with 14 other friends on Friday to Amsterdam for 4 days. A) It's a friend's birthday weekend B) I cannot wait to visit the Anne Frank house, Van Gogh, do a canal ride and so on C) It shall get messy D) Red light district. I shall update when I'm back and alive.
Cheers all.
Chelsea Flower Show
I am lucky enough to have attended the RHS Chelsea Flower Show today after work as my job for the past 3 weeks has been - with my boss - creating and maintaining a website for one of the gardens on show at the flower show.
We created The Key Garden which is funded by the Homes and Communities Agency (through our Places of Change programme). To make it more exciting is that the garden won Silver and is a favourite for the people's choice award. Interesting fact about the garden is that it was created by Paul Stone and with creative input from previous homeless service users.
South Africa won Gold at the RHS Flower show!!! Took some pics below
Amsterdamage
I'm on with 14 other friends on Friday to Amsterdam for 4 days. A) It's a friend's birthday weekend B) I cannot wait to visit the Anne Frank house, Van Gogh, do a canal ride and so on C) It shall get messy D) Red light district. I shall update when I'm back and alive.
Cheers all.
Oi, where to start? Okay so last time on the days of my life I was having a busy week. Well it still continued to be crazy busy until last Friday when I literally wanted to run into a corner and not leave. I think both my boss and I were about to pack our things, walk out and see what people/agency would do without us. Pressure? bwahahahahaha.
So let's back track to the long bank holiday weekend we had. I went up to the north to visit my roots/heritage, whichever one you want. Now I'm really lucky that I've met a really great friend at work and she was super keen to take me on the local tour of the north a.k.a Liverpool, Manchester, Chester, Cheshire, Knutsford and so on. And the local tour I did get which is so much better then trying to figure out where to go.

We jumped onto a train at London Euston on Saturday morning and had a roundabout journey up to Crewe which took about 3 hours odd. Thankfully I had the book I'm reading; The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Steig Larson and my iPod on me so I was kept busy while my friend slept. When we got to Crewe, we were picked up and taken back to her parentals home where we dropped our stuff off and went off to Chester. Now Chester is very Roman/Middle ages styled which has this feature called 'the wall' which was built way back way when castles existed to keep the Welsh out. So technically I was in North Wales for about 5 seconds but who is counting. Anyway, we walked around the wall for an hour and stopped off for cheeky cocktails, beautiful cathedrals, sneaky hangouts and general sightseeing. Pretty chilled town and quiet. After having supper at a place called Fat Cat - immediately thought of Fat Cactus in Cape Town we headed back to Cheshire calling it a night.


Sunday was jam packed starting by us jumping into Mini Cooper with 17inch mag wheels in beautiful metallic black. How I miss cars! Tunes; check, good company; check, paadkos; check and sunglasses; check! Off to Liverpool was our first stop. Well what can I say to be nice? Um... not much hey. Liverpool is ugly and I was totally disappointed with it. The buildings are run down coming into the 'centre' of it, there is hardly any regeneration of it and well it generally isn't really pretty looking. Makes Kimberley and Potchefstroom look like a tropical island compared to it. We went to a shopping centre called Liverpool One by the Mersey, which leads out into the ocean. It was bitterly cold, kind of like Cape Town in a blistering South Easter and we walked around a bit then decided to go get Footie socks for my sister, buy the Planet Earth Blu-ray dvd at HMV with my voucher, contemplated joining the navy and then went off.

Hello Manchester is all I can say. Soooooooooooooo much better then Liverpool. Was taken to Old Trafford aka Manchester United Football ground and went into the Megastore purchasing a few bits and bobs for my sister and a friend. From there we had to head for Sunday roast with her family and grandmother in Greater Manchester. After a great meal we headed to Manchester City grounds which was okay. From there we went driving around the centre of Manchester, the hip and happening places, the weirdest Hilton hotel and office blocks ever and then off to Cheetham Hill to see where my late grandfather was born. Very awesome place Manchester is, though small and I shouldn't be comparing it to London. Anyhoo, we headed back to Cheshire to freshen up and then went off to Knutsford and I can say that this place oozes in money. Why do I say this? Cause my friend told me and cause I saw my first Rolls Royce showroom ever in the middle of the north. We went to the best restaurant I have eaten at in the U.K. so far called Gusto. After some more cosmo cocktails, we decided to call it a night as it was late, we were both full and tired from a jam packed day.

We left for London on Monday late morning and boy was I happy to get back in a weird way. We both were in a way. Odd, I know.

Over my Head
Tuesday... newsletter day... NO, The Fray. Back at work on Tuesday and after getting through the newsletter I totally remembered that I was going to see The Fray live at the Roundhouse in Chalk Farm that night. I was psyched yet again for another band I love after seeing a fantabulous Snow Patrol in March and Jason Mraz as well, I was beyond excited for The Fray. And guess what? They played all their songs I wanted!!! And another random thing was that Friend A from the Paris trip and I went sit down by a plek by the stage and I totally, randomly sat down next to a person that turned out to be my childhood best friend from Camps Bay. I kid you not! I took pictures, phoned my mom, we caught up, we laughed and we all jammed to The Fray. It was the most unbelievable moment ever. Bumping into a childhood friend from Camps Bay in London! Yeah I know... crazy.

Hang on travelling woman
Wednesday I trekked back to Manchester for a staff conference which was cool and run really well by the event company our Marketing team hired. But I think I was kind of over it at the end of the day and we all just wanted to get back. We did have some mild entertainment on the train when a dude with a bottle of JD decided to stop by our Chief Executive who is a 'Sir' by the way - sitting behind me - and have a FAT chat with him. I couldn't understand what he was saying, nor could our entire coach which was all of the London agency's team and someone finally escorted the dude and all his money he was handing out to another cabin.
Thursday = Bones
Yes, Thursday I cried over the latest Bones episode and then I squeeled like a little girl when I saw the promo that aired afterwards. :thud:
After 4 years of loyally following tv's most awesome crime fighting duo (forensic anthropologist and FBI Agent, we finally ZOMG have the capture below from that awesome promo. Mom turn away now, you'll be spoiled) Sqeeeeeeeeee

Friday/Saturday
= My day to recuperate and saw Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - Jennifer Garner you could have done so much better.
Sunday
Primrose Hill for the whole afternoon which turned out to be sunny. Also heard a friend from school who lives in my apartment complex got mugged on Friday night! That is insane. I can actually say that I know of more people being affected by crime in London then in S.A. Our set of 5 friends had their house broken into and expensive stuff stolen, another had her car stolen 3 weeks ago and now this person got mugged in my apartment complex by a bunch of hooded thugs! Insane.
And that's it. I can end off with these bullet points to sum up the next few weeks:

So let's back track to the long bank holiday weekend we had. I went up to the north to visit my roots/heritage, whichever one you want. Now I'm really lucky that I've met a really great friend at work and she was super keen to take me on the local tour of the north a.k.a Liverpool, Manchester, Chester, Cheshire, Knutsford and so on. And the local tour I did get which is so much better then trying to figure out where to go.
We jumped onto a train at London Euston on Saturday morning and had a roundabout journey up to Crewe which took about 3 hours odd. Thankfully I had the book I'm reading; The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Steig Larson and my iPod on me so I was kept busy while my friend slept. When we got to Crewe, we were picked up and taken back to her parentals home where we dropped our stuff off and went off to Chester. Now Chester is very Roman/Middle ages styled which has this feature called 'the wall' which was built way back way when castles existed to keep the Welsh out. So technically I was in North Wales for about 5 seconds but who is counting. Anyway, we walked around the wall for an hour and stopped off for cheeky cocktails, beautiful cathedrals, sneaky hangouts and general sightseeing. Pretty chilled town and quiet. After having supper at a place called Fat Cat - immediately thought of Fat Cactus in Cape Town we headed back to Cheshire calling it a night.
Sunday was jam packed starting by us jumping into Mini Cooper with 17inch mag wheels in beautiful metallic black. How I miss cars! Tunes; check, good company; check, paadkos; check and sunglasses; check! Off to Liverpool was our first stop. Well what can I say to be nice? Um... not much hey. Liverpool is ugly and I was totally disappointed with it. The buildings are run down coming into the 'centre' of it, there is hardly any regeneration of it and well it generally isn't really pretty looking. Makes Kimberley and Potchefstroom look like a tropical island compared to it. We went to a shopping centre called Liverpool One by the Mersey, which leads out into the ocean. It was bitterly cold, kind of like Cape Town in a blistering South Easter and we walked around a bit then decided to go get Footie socks for my sister, buy the Planet Earth Blu-ray dvd at HMV with my voucher, contemplated joining the navy and then went off.
Hello Manchester is all I can say. Soooooooooooooo much better then Liverpool. Was taken to Old Trafford aka Manchester United Football ground and went into the Megastore purchasing a few bits and bobs for my sister and a friend. From there we had to head for Sunday roast with her family and grandmother in Greater Manchester. After a great meal we headed to Manchester City grounds which was okay. From there we went driving around the centre of Manchester, the hip and happening places, the weirdest Hilton hotel and office blocks ever and then off to Cheetham Hill to see where my late grandfather was born. Very awesome place Manchester is, though small and I shouldn't be comparing it to London. Anyhoo, we headed back to Cheshire to freshen up and then went off to Knutsford and I can say that this place oozes in money. Why do I say this? Cause my friend told me and cause I saw my first Rolls Royce showroom ever in the middle of the north. We went to the best restaurant I have eaten at in the U.K. so far called Gusto. After some more cosmo cocktails, we decided to call it a night as it was late, we were both full and tired from a jam packed day.
We left for London on Monday late morning and boy was I happy to get back in a weird way. We both were in a way. Odd, I know.
Over my Head
Tuesday... newsletter day... NO, The Fray. Back at work on Tuesday and after getting through the newsletter I totally remembered that I was going to see The Fray live at the Roundhouse in Chalk Farm that night. I was psyched yet again for another band I love after seeing a fantabulous Snow Patrol in March and Jason Mraz as well, I was beyond excited for The Fray. And guess what? They played all their songs I wanted!!! And another random thing was that Friend A from the Paris trip and I went sit down by a plek by the stage and I totally, randomly sat down next to a person that turned out to be my childhood best friend from Camps Bay. I kid you not! I took pictures, phoned my mom, we caught up, we laughed and we all jammed to The Fray. It was the most unbelievable moment ever. Bumping into a childhood friend from Camps Bay in London! Yeah I know... crazy.
Hang on travelling woman
Wednesday I trekked back to Manchester for a staff conference which was cool and run really well by the event company our Marketing team hired. But I think I was kind of over it at the end of the day and we all just wanted to get back. We did have some mild entertainment on the train when a dude with a bottle of JD decided to stop by our Chief Executive who is a 'Sir' by the way - sitting behind me - and have a FAT chat with him. I couldn't understand what he was saying, nor could our entire coach which was all of the London agency's team and someone finally escorted the dude and all his money he was handing out to another cabin.
Thursday = Bones
Yes, Thursday I cried over the latest Bones episode and then I squeeled like a little girl when I saw the promo that aired afterwards. :thud:
After 4 years of loyally following tv's most awesome crime fighting duo (forensic anthropologist and FBI Agent, we finally ZOMG have the capture below from that awesome promo. Mom turn away now, you'll be spoiled) Sqeeeeeeeeee
Friday/Saturday
= My day to recuperate and saw Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - Jennifer Garner you could have done so much better.
Sunday
Primrose Hill for the whole afternoon which turned out to be sunny. Also heard a friend from school who lives in my apartment complex got mugged on Friday night! That is insane. I can actually say that I know of more people being affected by crime in London then in S.A. Our set of 5 friends had their house broken into and expensive stuff stolen, another had her car stolen 3 weeks ago and now this person got mugged in my apartment complex by a bunch of hooded thugs! Insane.
And that's it. I can end off with these bullet points to sum up the next few weeks:
- My best friend is having her baby girl on my other best friend of 22 years, birthday. There are 5 of us best friends :)
- I'm going to Amsterdam on the 22nd May
- I'm loving Bat for Lashes at the moment
- Booking for Athlete hopefully
- Loving Santogold
- Um... let you know soon
I absolutely am in love with this song! Under - Under (Morgan Page remix) is by far one of the best, relaxing and stylish tracks I have listened to in ages. After watching Moonlight and hearing the song at the end, I was hell bent on finding this song. About 5 months later, I found it!
So for those who have been looking for it, want to hear it for the first time or just curious, click on the link.
Side note: I'm battling to change the link text to the name of the song.
And what's with the link making my content move to the bottom? Livejournal geniuses please help.
Anyone who can help, please comment :)
So for those who have been looking for it, want to hear it for the first time or just curious, click on the link.
Side note: I'm battling to change the link text to the name of the song.
And what's with the link making my content move to the bottom? Livejournal geniuses please help.
Anyone who can help, please comment :)
- Mood:awake
I forgot to add my passion to LAUGH. In honour of laughter, you have to read this e-mail I received - love joke spams - at work last month.
This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editor's choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX
This is an actual letter from an Austin woman sent to American company Proctor and Gamble regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph. It's PC Magazine's 2007 editor's choice for best webmail-award-winning letter.
Dear Mr. Thatcher,
I have been a loyal user of your 'Always' maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core or Dri-Weave absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.
Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my time of the month is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills' Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-Hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, jags, and out-of-control behaviour. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy!
The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... Which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.'
Are you fu*ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.
For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?
Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull sh*t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.
Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin , TX
- Location:Cape Town
- Mood:
blah - Music:The hum of my laptop
Crisis! So I've had this livejournal... well, for quite some time now and only now, after about 2 years have I decided to actually blog. Not making an excuse or anything but been blogging on 24.com/blogs for work and now that I'm oic with my job and heading on to bigger and brighter adventures, have I decided to properly use livejournal. [insert applause here]
So what are my aims regarding this journal you may ask? Well, I'm certainly not importing my previous blog, which I honestly thought was funny, I'm going to focus on my passions. As the days go by and as I blog, I will probably let slip more and more about me. That's if you don't Facetik me first. But honestly, this blog will be about:
My passion for MUSIC
My passion for TELEVISION
My passion for TRAVELING
My passion for N.S.R.I.
And many other numerous passions I pick up along the way.
So what are my aims regarding this journal you may ask? Well, I'm certainly not importing my previous blog, which I honestly thought was funny, I'm going to focus on my passions. As the days go by and as I blog, I will probably let slip more and more about me. That's if you don't Facetik me first. But honestly, this blog will be about:
My passion for MUSIC
My passion for TELEVISION
My passion for TRAVELING
My passion for N.S.R.I.
And many other numerous passions I pick up along the way.
- Location:On my bed
- Mood:
blah - Music:Singing in my head
